臺北市新住民專區網站英文版

Huang Jhong-sin, Bo Ai Elementary School General Affairs Director

    During the process of learning and growing in school, children often encounter difficulties in interpersonal communication. As parents, it is important to seize these opportunities to listen, communicate, show love and care, and solve the problem, turning crises into opportunities to strengthen the relationship with children. Below are some principles and practices that parents can reference when communicating with children:

I. Before the incident

A. Participating in class activities: Participating in class activities (class meetings, field trips, etc.) to understand how your child interacts with classmates, and to take the opportunity to learn about the teacher's leadership style and classroom management methods.

B. Maintaining contact with the teacher: At the end of the day, teachers are the ones who spend the most time with your child at school. Maintaining close contact with teachers is necessary to understand the child's interpersonal interactions and learning situation at school.

C. Observing unusual reactions from children: If a child appears nervous, becomes silent when talking about school, expresses fear when returning to school after holidays, or experiences frequent physical discomfort such as stomach aches, it is important to understand whether the child is facing stress or difficulties.

II. After the incident

A. Listen and don’t blame your child

The communication process on how an incident occurred, can be a good opportunity to understand your child. Parents need to first understand their child's thoughts before communicating with them. Don't interrupt your child or jump to conclusion when communicating with them (e.g. "You must be doing this or that, I know you too well"), as this can cause them to resist communication in the future.

B. Step in their shoes and pay and empathize with your child's feelings

Rather than directly correcting their behavior, it's more important to first show concern for the child's feelings. Parents showing concern children is a function that cannot be replaced by anyone else. If a child has already been summoned by a teacher or warned at school, facing a serious discussion again at home can be too much of a psychological burden for a developing mind. Parents should provide children with opportunities to express their feelings. Empathize with children and allow them to open up.

C. Give love and support before and after communicating

When communicating your child, regardless of whether the communication meets parents’  expectations, it is important to actively provide comfort and encouragement to the child, and be on the side of the child. After all, a child needs the love and encouragement of parents to grow and change.

D. Discuss with your child on how to handle problems in the future

When facing difficulties, parents can make suggestions for the child, but do not expect your child to be able to do everything your suggested. Give children opportunities to strengthen their problem-solving skills can help communication between parents and children focus on specific issues, without affecting the child's self-worth or enthusiasm for school.

    Establishing a habit of discussing school-related matters with children can help parents better understand the events and psychological changes that children experience during their growth. This allows parents to provide timely encouragement and guidance, listen as the child's audience, and cultivate problem-solving abilities by discussing school events together. This in turn helps children adapt to different situations they may face in the future.