臺北市新住民專區網站英文版

By Tsai Chao-Hsien, Bin Jiang Elementary School Student Affairs Director

Lack of family education and support can significantly influence the proper development of a child's personality. Children who are strictly controlled and repressed by their families during their formative years often become either rebellious or submissive. The little girl in question lived in Vietnam until she was three years old and initially did not speak Mandarin upon her return to Taiwan. However, under the strict guidance of her grandparents, she became proficient in Mandarin by the time she started kindergarten, entirely forgetting her Vietnamese. This linguistic shift was largely due to her grandmother's insistence on not allowing her to speak Vietnamese with her mother.

The grandmother was always unfriendly towards her Vietnamese daughter-in-law, leading to the parents' divorce when the girl started kindergarten. The grandparents also cut off contact between the girl and her birth mother, gradually diminishing the mother's presence in the girl's memory. Moreover, the grandparents favored boys over girls, creating a disparity in the family between the girl and her brother. The brother, excelling in school, overshadowed the girl. She struggled academically due to a lack of focus. Whenever she made mistakes, the grandparents resorted to scolding and hitting her, and her brother often added insult to injury instead of protecting her.

The precocious girl desperately wanted to impress her grandparents, but her lack of focus hindered her ability to complete the tasks she set out to do, leading to more failures. Her grandparents, having no expectations for her, became even stricter in their discipline. She wasn't allowed to go out without their permission and was tasked with household chores, including cleaning her brother's lunchbox and clothes. At school, she longed for attention and often lingered outside her brother's classroom during breaks. She even wrote love letters to a boy she admired in the sixth grade, which intimidated him. This led to a situation where the boy had to hide from her in school. Her inappropriate behavior was eventually addressed with the help of her homeroom and guidance teachers, who taught her interpersonal skills.

To help the girl gain confidence through achievement, she was encouraged to join the school sports team and participate in Taiwanese speech competitions, despite the challenges they posed for her instructors. Fortunately, with persistent teaching, she began to show some improvement. When her grandparents noticed her progress, the school communicated with them, advocating for balanced discipline for both siblings. Regarding the girl's attachment to the older boy, which likely stemmed from a lack of fatherly love and maternal care, it was recommended that the grandparents pay more attention to her social interactions and provide more care. Ensuring she feels loved at home is crucial to prevent her from seeking premature independence from the family.