臺北市新住民專區網站英文版

By Dr. So-Song Chang, Part-Time Assistant Professor, National Open University

Actions speak louder than words. This expression means parents need to set an example for their children through their actions. It doesn’t matter if your actions are good or bad, right or wrong, your child is imitating you. Children always think that the actions of their parents are good and right without a doubt. Children do not distinguish between good and bad, and right from wrong in their parents’ actions.

Years ago, there was a video circulating on YouTube, called “Children see Children do.” Though the video is only one minute and thirty seconds long, there are five scenes that are thought provoking.

Scene 1: A mother is walking and smoking, then she tosses the cigarette butt to the ground and put it out by stepping on it. The child following behind her mother also puts out a cigarette by stepping on it.

Scene 2: As a father finishes his drink, he tosses the empty can to the side of the road. His child also tosses an empty can to the side of the road after finishing his drink.

Scene 3: A mother is talking on the phone at a public phone booth, and when she is agitated, she smashes the phone against the booth. At the same time, her daughter who is also using the phone curiously does the thing and smashes the phone against the booth. 

Scene 4: A father is in a bad mood, and he is throwing stones at a dog in the yard to vent off steam. The dog doges around in the doghouse trying to get away. The child imitates his father and throws a stone at the dog. 

Scene 5: A woman accidentally tips over her shopping cart, and all the items scattered across the floor. She looks flustered. A father sees the woman, he walks over and picks up items on the floor and puts them back into the woman’s shopping cart. Without a word, the child automatically helps the woman.

From the five scenes above, we understand that children develop new behaviors from observing and imitating adults. The steps of action imitation consist of 1) noticing a behavior, 2) retaining a behavior, 3) shaping a behavior, 4) desire to act out a behavior. In the fifth scene, when the father gives a kind helping hand to the woman that flipped over her shopping cart, it got his child’s attention. The child remembers this heart-warming scene, internalizes it, and becomes his motivation to help others in kind. If he encounters the same situation again, he would be quick to act in a warm and helpful behavior. In the contrary, when parents behave inappropriately, children will also imitate inappropriate behaviors.

Dear parents, do not underestimate your language actions. Children are sharp observers and are even better imitators. Even when parents do not deliberately teach their children, children still learn good and bad attitudes and behaviors through observation and imitation.

Children’s character development is greatly affected by their parents. How parents behave, treat others, and handle frustration and emotions provide learning materials to children. Parents should pay attention to how they talk and act to provide a good model to children. Teach your children through your actions will make discipline at home much easier. Just as Friedrich Fröbel once said, “Education is nothing but a concern for love and role model.”